JonathanLIVE

Thoughts on Relationships

Posted on January 2nd, 2007 by JonathanLIVE.
Categories: Thoughts.

Well.. on many occasions I have been the one that my friends turn to for help with their relationships. If I had a dime for every person on the Internet I have talked to, helping them out with their relationships, I would be a rich man today :).. Since I was very young.. I thought a lot about relationships, seeing them around me, being in them, looking at how they worked. Reading a lot about human nature, and my studies of the spiritual nature of humanity has really given me an insight into the ways people “relate”.

Communication

That is what I believe makes the very foundation of ANY relationship. Whom ever you are with, you must have the ability to effectively share your thoughts, feelings, and ideas with each other. The most common break down of most relationships is due to lack of or poor communication with each other. This can happen in many ways which I will illustrate in this example.

A couple get into an argument.. she says.. “You never take me anywhere, you don’t love me!” and the man replies, “What are you talking about? I tell you that I love you everyday!!” Now, what are we seeing here? I really do believe they love each other.. but their understanding of how each other communicate is very poor. The woman in this case communicates on what is called a kinesthetic level. She understand the feeling in love in what is done.. she has to feel it with doing things with her mate. On the other hand, the man understands love through auditory input, in what is said. He understands the feeling and ideal of love in the words “I love you” more then anything else. Him telling her everyday that he loves her, as far as he can understand, should be enough! For her though.. it’s the things he does that matter, if he takes her out, or buys her things. In these ways she can see the “action” put forth that communicates the love.

When we look at the situation, it has nothing to do with if they love each other or not, it’s the way they communicate it to each other that is causing the misunderstanding, and thus miscommunicating to each other what they really feel. Now just because they have different ways of understanding and communicating does not mean they cannot have a successful relationship, it just means they have to become aware of their partners way of understanding and communicating things. Unfortunately, the majority of people in society are not ever given any kind of education in this respect.

Relationships go beyond just you and the other person.. a successful relationship is one where you are not looking at eachother, but rather, you are both looking in the same direction. It’s the vision that both of you share that matters most.

Personally, in my life, I am not a believer in relationships as they are commonly believed in now. I will not get involved in a relationship with a woman unless I KNOW from the beginning that it’s going to lead to marriage. Some might say, “But, love might grow”… no no no .. see.. you know from the start… IF you know what you are looking for.. and I do. I know the kinds of values, attributes, sexiness, and dreams I want my future wife to be to have.. it will all compliement my own really. I am not being unrealistic really in what I am expecting, just wanting the best, rather the the mediocre like most people have come to settle for when it comes to relationships (I hear it ALL the time.. mostly from woman afraid to be alone and that they won’t find a real man).

I consider myself as someone on a journal to meet my lifemate, however, it’s not going to happen till I have gotten things clear for myself in my own life. Sooo until then, I will continue to journey on. I don’t mind meeting girls and going out and having a good time.. but I am very particular about them understanding that it’s not going to develop into a relationship.. if I have already decided that they don’t have what I’m looking for. I guess you could say 1st impressions are pretty important to me … no.. I don’t judge to quickly.. I simply know what I want.. and if you ever had a conversation with me… you know I find out quickly if the girl I’m with has it or not. .. It’s amazing what an hour with me over a cappucino will reveal ..

Share This

0 comments.

I am a Baha’i

Posted on January 2nd, 2007 by JonathanLIVE.
Categories: Faith.

I have been a Baha’i since I was 15 years old. I was raised in a Baha’i family (that means my parents were Baha’is). Growing up in a Baha’i family I was taught to understand and respect all the world religions. However, religion was never a major influence in my life when I was young. I did what I want and went were I pleased. However, I was always essentially “good”. When you are 15 that is the “age of maturity” you can choose to become a Baha’i or not. I figured, there is nothing i really disagree with, some of the laws, well.. no big deal, sure.. I am a Baha’i.

When I was 16, I had everything. I had a beautiful girlfriend that loved me, I had a huge group of friends that I had a great time with, I had all the money I could want, and more. It was in this environment that I had an event in my life happen to me that essentially forced me to seriously take a look at my life in a timely manner. What I mean by this is, I felt I did not have much time left. I don’t want to go into detail as to this event due to the extreme personal nature of it. Nonetheless, this event gave me new energy, as the saying goes, my fire burned stronger. It wasn’t in the direction of religion though, it started immediately with my self. “I am going to do EVERYTHING that *I* want to do and NOW!” was the attitude I took.

That attitude didn’t last very long though. Within a matter of weeks, really thinking about my situation, my attitude started to change. I started to think, “If I am going to do anything, I want to leave my mark in this world and see just how much I can help it.”

I found myself spending more time with the Baha’is. Attending more activities, studying the Writings of Baha’u'llah more. As I read the Writings, I was literally AMAZED at what I found. I started to understand religious truth, and LOVED IT! Everything in my mind, in my heart, and in my soul all came together and made perfect sense. I grasped with a new mystery each and everyday. I kept every member of my community on their toes with all my questions about the Baha’i Faith. I was like a sponge sucking up every drop of knowledge I could get. I read for hours each day, reading book after book after book. I began memorizing prayers and passages from the Writings. I became more and more a Baha’i in a very short period of time.

I was soooo excited. I was literally in love with the Faith. I felt like I had discovered a gold mine and I wanted to show everybody! Many of my friends didn’t understand what I was talking about, nor did they understand my excitement, nonetheless, they listened to my twisted blabber. I say that because, well.. that’s what it must have seemed like to them. I had NO teaching skills. I would just blurb off things I knew, and they would look at me with a glazed look like I had just spoken another language. It didn’t matter to me though, it just made me more determined to become a better teacher of the Cause. I understood the only way I was going to get better was practice practice practice. That is just what I did, I don’t think there was a single person that crossed my path that year that did not hear about the Baha’i Faith. It was great. It had it’s price though. There were people who didn’t understand the changes I had gone through, and feared me in ways. My girlfriend who I loved with all my heart, didn’t like my new found faith, which ended our relationship (however we still remained friends, even to this very day, and I still love her dearly).

Not very long after this, actually, it was around my 17th birthday, I decided that I was going to quit school and give a year of service to the Faith by travel teaching to Romania. I remember jumping out of my room and saying all filled with energy and confidence, “Mom, I’m going to Romania!”, to which she replied, “That’s nice dear.” in a ’sure you are’ type of tone. From that day forward I worked nonstop at making it happen. I found a job to save up, I applied for a teaching program that was going on in Romania, and I meet with the LSA of my community to tell them my intentions. They were very impressed with my proposal, and asked me to save some money and come back to talk to them a month from then.

I found a good job with a lot of hours. I worked everyday to save up to go. I was working at a convenience story during the graveyard shift. So it gave me the perfect opportunity to spend my time studying while I was working to go! At the end of the month I had saved up $1500. The LSA was VERY impressed and could see just how determined I was to go. So they endeavored to help me out. Sure enough, they got me $1800 (just what I needed) to go! To the Baha’is of Bedford, I would just like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for the support and love you gave me over the years I lived in your community. The time to leave was November, right after the Baha’i World Congress in New York. I made arrangements to leave straight from New York to Poland. Oh, I also want to thank my travel agent. She was by far, the BEST travel agent I have EVER met! If I was only a few years older, perhaps I could have asked her out to dinner, but no go for this young one :).

The Baha’i World Congress in New York was AMAZING! About 30,000 Baha’is from EVERY part of the world converged on New York. I made friends with Baha’is from every part of the world. On particular person I remember was Amy. We went to many things together, and shared a lot about our experiences as Baha’is. It wasn’t until I had come back from my travels that I received a letter from her about how she had gone off travel teaching herself. Her words in the letter were so on fire. She thanked me up and down for the time we had spent in New York. Apparently something I had said to her in our conversation had given her a new outlook, and she was VERY excited about it. She mentioned she was going to China as well. I sometimes think about her and how she is doing. unfortunately the only return address she gave me was her college, which she is long gone from now. Ah well, I am sure I will bump into her at a conference or something.

The World Congress was a historical occasion, not just for the Baha’is, but for humanity. Representatives, from each country, in their native cultural cloths, gathered together in a praise of humanities diversity. It was breathtaking! Those days at the congress were sleepless of course. It was something I will never forget.

After that I bid my mother farewell at the airport on my way to Poland. I travelled from Poland to Austria, from Austria to Hungary, and from Hungary to Romania. All the way there I found myself teaching people who seemed to cross my path. I am not going to go into details about my trip, I will say that very strange coincidences happened getting to Romania, that all turned out good :). I spent two months in Romania with a few other youth a 1st, then we grew to over a dozen from every part of the world! I made some friends there, and did what I could to help. I was always the youngest of the bunch. Most everyone was 19 to 21. After Romania the group was moving to Hungary to teach there. Something I didn’t expect. Nonetheless, I went were I was needed. There we stayed at an orphanage. We made some activities with the children there, while organizing events in the city. They were all really nice. We stayed at that school for about three weeks before we had to move on to another town. I got word that that orphanage, waves of the children from that school all came to the Baha’i community there to become Baha’is a few years after we had been there. I was shocked by the news, when we left, we felt like no one was really interested in anything we had to say. Guess all we needed to do was plant the seed, and let God to the rest of the work :). I travelled to many different cities with the group and put on events everywhere. Some were a great success, others were met with indifference.

It was in Hungary I 1st got word of the news that my community was considering sponsoring me to go to China to do some short term pioneering for three months. This came to me at a time I was starting to get tired, and was talking to my mom about coming home. Then I heard about this, and realized that this was a sign that I had to march on. I told them I would do it, they said they had to consult on it 1st before they could give me an answer. Other members of my group were so jealous when they heard the news :). I continued to teach with everyone. The group I was with was fantastic. I learned so much from each of them. I think the suffering we went through in our travels, being constantly tired, without sleep, cold, and sick, made it a bit easier having everyone share the same thing. You don’t realize just how comfortable we are in North America until you travel to a country that doesn’t have it that good.

Well, I got a double surprise. My grandmother decided to give me a present, and pay for a trip to the Holy Land (Haifa, Israel) to go on a 3 day pilgrimage, since I was so close to it. A member of the group from Mexico (who lived in LA) wanted to come with me. In the exact same phone call, my mother informed me that that LSA of Bedford had decided to sponsor me to go to China!! I almost knocked the phone booth over I was so excited jumping up and down all over the place :). There was a time frame on the time for me to go, so I had to hurry if I was going to Israel. My friend from Mexico was a big help. First, we charged the entire trip on his MC Gold card. My mother sent him a money order in the mail to his home address to pay for my half of the trip. He LOVED arranging trips. He worked at an air line. He lives for making arrangements for peoples travelling. When he heard I was going to China he was so excited about making the arrangements for the trip.

We got confirmation from the House of Justice to come on the three day pilgrimage. It was AMAZING! We had such a wonderful time. It gave me the spiritual energy I needed for the task ahead I was about to take on in China. Louise (that’s my friend from Mexico’s name) had a wonderful time as well. Needless to say, he was happy at how warm it was. Coming from LA, he had a really hard time weathering the cold. No like us Canadian husky men that can weather anything :). After the three day pilgrimage we had toe leave Haifa, so we decided to go to Jerusalem, where we stayed the remainder of the week and went to almost every holy place there was. We ran into some interesting characters to say the least while we were there, but we got out of it safely.

My impressions of Jerusalem are not great. It has become a commercialized center for tourist to come and go through in droves buying the stupidest trinkets that are being sold in every walk way through the city (Old Jerusalem). It was like a big cash cow. It was such a contrast to the Baha’i Holy Places we had been to. The gardens of the Baha’i Shrines were wondrous, and kept no less then immaculately. Nothing was being sold in those places. All that took place was fellowship and prayer. They are all open to the world to visit. If you ever go to Israel, I HIGHLY recommend you to to Haifa, on Mount Carmel you will see the World Center of the Baha’i Faith.

We headed back, and right away we worked nonstop to make my arrangements to China. The money was wired in, and my ticket bought, and I was on my way. Everyone saw me to the airport and gave me a very loving and warm good bye.

More coming soon!

If you don’t know what a Baha’i is, then I recommend you visit www.bahai.org.

Share This

0 comments.