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You are looking at posts that were written on June 3rd, 2007.
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Posted on June 3rd, 2007 by JonathanLIVE.
Categories: Jonathans Photos.
Wow I was so young 
Look at that face of innocence. Taken only weeks before I embarked on my journey around the world at age 17. I made the decision when I was 16 and still in school. I told everyone that I was not going back to school next year, that I was going travel teaching in
As some may know, I have a father who is mentally ill, suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. He was diagnosed when I was 3 years old, so I never really knew who he was, other than a mental patient my whole life. I was well aware of the statistical potential of me becoming just like him. There are no words that can describe the degrees of suffering that my family was put through with his illness. I swore that I would never put anybody through that kind of pain and suffering if I were ever to lose my mind the way he had.
At the time, all that ‘modern medicine’ knew about schizophrenia was; It can hit anybody, it happens between the ages of 18 to 32 mostly, and if you were born from a parents with it, the statistical odds that you will suffer the same illness are most likely.
I can remember the moment. I had qualified to attend an advanced class in social studies that was a year ahead of the rest of my classes. It was one of my favorite classes. My teachers name was Mr. Harding. He was an ex-hippy, who still enjoyed getting high from time to time (he tried to hide it, but it was pretty clear to the students), and had a knack for running a class that broke all boundaries of conformity to what is common. I was not only the youngest of the class, but also the oddball Baha’i. The only one of two in the whole school. Which made me a favorite target for him from time to time for query of my perspectives on things, and presentations on my beliefs.
Early on in our course, we got into reviewing mental illness in society. The topic was much more personal to me than it was to my classmates as I had intimate knowledge and understanding of it through my father. I watched and listened to the types of questions and answers that were being given. I don’t know why, but I felt this defining moment coming on. Even though I knew the answer, I still had to ask:
“Mr. Harding, if a man and woman had a child, and one of the parents was schizophrenic, would the child grow up to be schizophrenic as well?”
Answer:
“Yes, most definitely”
I felt as though my life had just been cut short. Congratulations kid, you got 2 years to go before you turn into a nut bar, and you know that means you got no future left for you after that. My immediate react was that if I got two years to go, than I’m doing everything I WANT in that time. Little did I know there was something else awakened within me. Within a few short months, I was no longer interested in what I wanted, I started to feel, if I got two years left, than I am going to impact this world as much as I can in that time. When you are pressed, when you are at a point where you must define your very existence and what it means, you will either serve yourself, or allow the light of God’s love to shine through and burn away all things. You can live for what you were desiged for, greatness. At age 16 I understood:
You don’t become great by doing what you want and what you love.
You become great, by doing what’s right.
I boldly declared to everyone about my plan to travel teach. Nobody took me seriously, not even my own mother. As the end of the summer approached, I had managed to save nearly enough money to go, and I was still intent on going and had no plans on attending school when September came. That’s when everyone started to notice that I was very serious and will be enabled to go. Thankfully, I had a very supportive Baha’i community in
A few months into my travels, I remember gaining a new insight into my dads’ illness, and how it impacted me. I no longer feared it. I actually felt completely immune to it with my new understanding. That day forward was not out of fear of an ending, but out of a love for living. Ironically enough, ‘modern medicine’ is starting to actually catch on to much of what I thought up when I was 17 years old in relation to schizophrenia. As many of you are well aware, I have no traces of the illness.
Quite a story behind this little passport isn’t there. This is a story I have not told many. The last person I shared this story with felt inspired by it, and so I thought I should share all the factors that contributed in my trek around the world.
